Nationalism Comes of Age
The BNP legal advisory team, which is drawn from communities of all faiths, has been investigating the implications of the Political Parties, Elections and Referendums Act 2000, existing Race Acts and the proposed new Religious Act. I would like to summarise their findings.
We concluded that there are only three possible courses of action.
A) We can visit Stonehenge at midnight on Walpurgis night, attired in full SS or Klan regalia, stand on our heads and whistle Dixie backwards three times. This will, needless to say, require the support of local branches, who would meet at the intersection of the nearest ley-lines while simultaneously performing the same ritual in Unison.
B) Secondly we can create inter-dimensional gateways and travel to a more friendly planet preferably not more than 100,000 light-years away.
C) Thirdly, Jewish and black race advisors, under the supervision of local illuminati, should be put in charge of the re-education of reactionary BNP members the "dead wood" responsible for institutional racism at branch level. The BNP advisory council (almost all of whom are in my employ) will also, in order to fully comply with the law, henceforth be known as the Central Committee or Praesidium.
Option A will appeal to traditionalists in the party, but is not a realistic option for most people. Option B is superficially attractive, but this is an expensive and time-consuming business and could prove impractical to those members lacking a basic understanding of higher-dimensional physics or engineering skills. Option C would comply with the spirit (or zeitgeist, as we cockneys call it) of the law at present, and is the most attractive choice. However, it could prove controversial, as some members still harbour foolish hankerings for freedom of thought and expression, so we will leave this measure until next year.
On further consideration, by a brilliant leap of inductive reasoning, we derived a far more radical proposal one that is unassailable in its pristine logic. Ethnic minorities, be they Sikhs, Hindus, blacks, coloureds, Inuit, African bushmen, Australian aborigines or whatever, can all join their own, their very own, BNP. They will, of course, never want to come to local 'mainstream' branch meetings or complain to the CRE about race discrimination, but will instead go to their own branch meetings, however far away they are held. Also if anyone thinks they are BNP then they are BNP and if anyone thinks they are party officials or national chairman, then in a very real and meaningful sense they are party officials or national chairman.
I trust we have made ourselves clear to even the most mentally challenged amongst you and that you can all see, however dimly, that there is no other way forward.
May the Force be with you and a very happy Easter (Passover) to you all.